I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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