gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
