Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
