Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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