my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
