Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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