Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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