a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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