if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
