So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize