Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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