What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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