Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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