He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
