I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
