Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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