): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
