i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
