Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize