we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
