i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
