We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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