I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
