in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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