Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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