Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
