she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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