I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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