Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize