history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
