I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
