i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I currently don't understand fingers.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
