We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
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