haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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