he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
