im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize