why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
