Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize