But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
