I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's the barista slut.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
