New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize