so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
