if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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