I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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