we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
