It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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