Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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