Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
