they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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