It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize