Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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