so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
