that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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