Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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