My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
