the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize