mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
