bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
