I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
