Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
