we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
smell my finger.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
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