I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize